What motherhood means to me
It has been almost two years since I first became a mother. I cannot fathom how much has changed in those two years. I have experienced very high highs and endured very low lows. My life now, doesn’t even nearly resemble my life bc (before children). I am slowly learning what it means to be a mother. Though everyone’s experiences are different, I’m sure the mums out there will resonate with a lot of what I’m about to say.
Motherhood for me, means the fulfillment of some dreams and the shattering of others. It means sacrifice. It means giving up that bit of vegemite toast that I always save for last because it’s the crunchiest, tastiest bit, just so my nearly two year old finally eats some breakfast. It means “enjoying” many lukewarm (at best) cups of tea. It means giving up my tv programs and succumbing to ABC for kids. It means perpetual tiredness. It means shorter shopping trips (I’m lucky if we last an hour before the whinging sets in). It means carrying a daggy mismatched backpack, rather than a glamourous handbag that matches my shoes. It means having dinner no later than 6pm. It means not going out at night so we can keep the kidlets in the best sleeping routine. It means less spontaneity (though this hasn’t died completely, it’s just harder to orchestrate). It means giving up yummy food so my baby doesn’t get a sore tummy. It means changes to my body that I don’t enjoy. It means ignoring the glares of strangers as your toddler has a public tantrum.
BUT… I don’t want to turn you off babies and children, so keep reading and I’ll highlight just some of the good things. The above “sacrifices” are mostly superficial, trivial things and the good times really do outweigh the bad!
Motherhood means to me, waking up to the grinning, giggling laughter of a gorgeous baby face. It means getting “you’re my everything” hugs every single day. It means experiencing new joys in life, through fresh eyes; The joy of a boy playing in dirt. The joy of a swing set. The joy of pegs. The joy of the first taste of a lolly. The joy of cooking with a “helper”. The joy of watching your parents become grandparents.
Motherhood means creating, nurturing and bringing new life into the world. Motherhood means accepting the changes and acknowledging the momentous achievements of my body. My body may not look like it once did, but this uterus? It’s grown and carried two full term, perfectly formed babies. This skin? It has expanded and stretched to accommodate life. These breasts? They have created life sustaining milk – enough to grow, feed and nourish two children (so far). This body? It’s amazing.
Motherhood means SOOO many good things. I know it’s cliched, but it’s true – I have never experienced such fierce, protective love for a single human being in my whole life, the way I have as a mother. And when I felt like my heart couldn’t possibly have this much love for more than one, it expanded and became drenched and saturated even more, when I was blessed with another. From the moment I first laid eyes on and held each of my beautiful children, my heart grew bigger. I knew a new, bigger, better, broader experience of love each time. There are literally no words that adequately describe the feeling. Love is not big enough. The closest thing I can find is agape love, the highest and purest form of love; sacrificial and surpassing any other types of affection. I could honestly spend the rest of my days searching and staring deep into the blue marbled, spectacular eyes of each of my babies. They are both glorious creations. I am so thankful to have been so richly blessed.
Motherhood is my journey and my destiny. It is who I am. It is what I do. I love it, and I’m only at the beginning. I love my children. I more than love my children, I adore them. They are my everything. They are my world. They are my life.